Never let a computer know you're in a hurry

This is my new resolution! Have you ever noticed the correlation between computer speed and length of time you have to do something. It has an inverse (i think haven't actually drawn a graph) relationship.

Other things you must not reveal that you are in a hurry to:

Door/car keys - they will run away and hide
Car windows - they will steam up so you can't see where it is you are going in a hurry - a dangerous combination!
Pans of water that you wish to cook food in - it will take twice as long as the packet says
Books that you are using to write an essay - the perfect quote/explanation that you know you just read will vanish from its pages
Traffic Lights - they will always turn red as you approach - especially if you speed up just before them
People in front of you in queues - they will take an uncommonly long time to do what ever it is you are queuing to do