Optimal Diet Theory

Or ODT to those of us in the know! So here's the basics taken from a journal article being read by Beckrum in the library today:

• Eat prey that yields more energy per unit handling time - this means don't eat food that comes in wrappers!
• Eat more of that type of prey and drop other lower value prey - therefore anything that comes in two wrappers should be avoided at all costs - this includes: cereal, rockys, Mr Kipling cakes (just remebered a quote from my grandma in Sainsbury's "I need to get some Mr Kipling bathroom cleaner"), and anything else with 2 layers
• Obey the quantitative threshold rule including and excluding certain prey types - not sure what this means but maybe always have take away that can be delivered to your house
• These rules don't apply when eating mobile prey - therefore you can eat anything whilst on a train, or avoid food that moves e.g. rolling apples and especially live food like yogurts!
• You should show partial preferences - e.g. to chocolate
• Prey that is immobile lacks anti-predator behviours - therefore fast food is bad as it will definitly have anti-predator behaviours
• Attack all prey encountered - eat all the food that you see
• Large prey should be preferred - always opt for a 3 course meal

So there you go now we can all enjoy an optimal diet!

I had another one of those weird conversations where there is an unexpected twist - this time with Beckrum. We were working (I know rare occurance) in the library when Beckrum suddenly said: " I wonder what human flesh tastes like?" - eeek! I may be living with a potential cannibal. Other sentences spoken by Beckrum in the course of the ensuing conversation included: "What if it tastes better than chicken?" and "If you cut off someone's muscles (in order to eat them) do they grow back?"

And also found another great name in the article I was reading this time its a first name: Northrup - which could potentially be shortened to Ruppy! Hehe!

Shocking news to reveal about Liz as well today! LIZ IS A CRIMINAL! She was spotted stealing paper from the photocopiers at uni! Disgusting behaviour i think you will all agree - it's always the person you least suspect!